JuneBug

I have this cup. I keep this cup turned downside up. and once in a while my naïve side crawls up out of the hole I stuffed it in and does some spectacularly retarded shit, like decide to turn the cup the right way up.

The problem is; there’s a reason why that glass stays like that. See this glass is like Pandora’s Box, minus the happiness and shit at the bottom of the box and shit. Once this cup fills up, its quick to overflow and once that happens all the shit falls to hell and I regret all the shit and yada yada fish paste.
Then I turn down again, everything is still acid burnt and fucked to death, but you know what after that all crap goes away and shit.

This glass I’m talking about is how much is my “care” glass. Don’t be retarded, it’s a metaphor.
my point now is caring is usually not worth it, because you care and put in the work and all that shit and still get blasted in the face with shit, piss and barf. Afterward, when I feel sad, alone, dejected, disappointed, rejected and all around all around just fucking depressed, I remember why I chose to not ever give the tiniest of fucks in the first place. That shits like playing with water when you’re clearly fire. It just don’t end well.

So for now I go back to my cave and indulge in all of my little fucked up luxuries. All the while fixing the colossal mess that naïve fool made. Oh, yeah, I have a gigantic ass crush. Schoolyard puppy kinda shit, you know! Like, bad bad, all disgustingly cute shit. This girl is the Rose. I was supposed to lead with that, I guess. Romantics are born, cynics are made. I didn’t survive the battle, I am made a cynic. It’s smarter, its logical. It will win the war. But that romantic naïveté is for the birds.

So now the cup is upside down, the fool back in his cage, and me left with a mess.

(X_X) I just hope she doesn’t see this ever

Coming Next

The next couple of posts are from a simpler time. These were the things I wrote before I learnt all a lot of the things I know.

Innocent, naïve, impressionable(somewhat)

Back when my world was as close to valhalla as I could hope.

I wrote these partly in an attempt to keep up with the poetry and shakespeare stuff we had in high school, and partly to see if I could and in part to find an outlet for the thing I couldn’t, just wouldn’t, say.

I hope you enjoy them 🙂 😛

be GOOD kids 😀

I See You

Your smile. White, full, bright. Hypnotising. One place I dare not look. I know the sparks that come from it and that drugging sound of ignorance.

Your eyes. Sweet and seductive. They burn with a fire unmatched even by a thousand white hot suns, shrouded all over the naivete of inexperience.

Your face. Soft, glowing, flowing black hair. Enticing, just the right amount of imperfection masterfully skilled in. So innocent , happy and trusting.

I find it kinda sad. You know and learn so much, but none of those you need right now, right?.. Because knowledge is to wisdom as divinity is to religion.

Yet still! You are bound still by this bubble stained with betrayal and turned it your fort, believing that it would be your best evasive tactic. You’ve grown comfortable in it.

Something makes me want to rip that shroud and fuel your wisdom and pierce your bubble. Then you will know that the way to defeat your enemy is to become your enemy. You already know it, you do not except it.
I know this, I’ve seen this, there are many others like that, like you. On steady diets of your own poison and taught to photo-synthesize it yourselves for each other.

Something else, something I learned to look for, tells me not to do it. I know the flickers if your lamp. I’m much too familiar with them. One in particular irks at mine.
You are not one to old labor to things and systems!!!
You are one to find your own!!! I did not expect this. I mean, that’s not the bad thing. At all. Its quite disappointing actually.

The wiring is not supposed to be like this. I know this technique, and its maker. He’s more of a tinkerer than a designer and there’s not a configuration like this on any blueprint. I’ve reversed engineered enough to know. That he has added his own alterations? I was expecting it. That it works? I’m happy it is, though it seems to not yet be much efficient. What’s disappointing? That I see what he did and what he seems to be doing.

Bet you never thought I’d considered you this closely…

I’m high