I’m out of ideas now

have you ever felt like youre waiting for something but you don’t know what you’re waiting for.
have you ever thought that whatever it is you’re waiting for is exactly why you can’t move on. is why you can’t do shit right. is why you keep failing.

its 05:40 CAT and after a long ass night and a couple hours trying to force sleep, it just occurred to me that there’s something major that I’m missing. or I have it and I just can’t see it.

whatever this thing is, or I guess for arguments sake whoever it is, I need to figure it out now because I’m reaching the point of break.

and I honestly don’t know what to do.  I need some help. someone to elucidate the way for me. this is it. this is my cry for help. my plea to the powers of the universe to help me. to help put me out of this piss pit that I’m in before I completely lose sight of the light.

its 05:51 CAT. and I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t know where I’m going. and unless I get some help from someone, from anyone. I’m going to be lost and I don’t think I’ll ever come back. I’m a little scared actually.