Chasing Lights

To answer Nicholsons Joker, yes I have danced with the devil. Its a warm night in the Pretoria summer and it’s just one of those times. I don’t know what I want, I’m not sure there’s anything I want, it’s 3am I’ve not slept for 70 hours, I think(after the 50th hour it all just melds into one thing) and I’m staring at a red light. I don’t remember what I’m doing here right now, I’m not sure I remember how I got here. I’ve always loved the pull of the big engine, the boost of the turbo and the feel of the clutch and the accelerator under my feet and chunk of the heavy gear stick, it’s always thrilled me, it’s always more pleasure than any woman I’ve ever been with has ever given me.

He’s always thought it a bit strange, but on the road has always been the only time he’d felt truly alive. He’s life completely in his hands, racing the line between life and death, redlining the motor to near mechanical failure, but he’d always been too good a driver for his own good, not race driver good, but good enough to survive the many ill-judged moments. He looked at the road again.

Three, two, one, green. Im too goddamn tired to be fucking driving, but the way I’m going I think I’m going home, words are just words and nothing means fucking anything right now. Redline, 5th gear. 6000 revs, top gear. Im doing what, 185 kph? And I’m in a 60 zone, holy fucking shit Christ, haha. All these streetlights, I don’t even see the dark inbetween. All these traffic lights, don’t even have the time to turn away from green. Straight into sweeping left incline into… Oh shit,the cars facing wrong way or is it the wrong way up, I think I forgot to brake into the curve, I mean I heard the tires screech, I’m pretty sure I’m going sideways and the road at the wrong end of my head, plus why are there trees aren’t they supposed to be over the edge? Is this it, is this really it, killed by a fucking car? Who woulda ever thunk it? How long I been chasing streetlights? I know I just did four traffic lights, each about 500 metres? I think. How many streetlights was it though, I forgot count? I always said I’d be killed by these cars. I been chasing these streetlights so long, I even lost count of them all. How many rolls was that? I’m so warm, and I think a little wet but I think I’m home now, I don’t remember going through the gate but at least now I’ll get to sleep. Its fine, who needs a bed, I’ll just sleep in this seat and see my life in the morning. Sweet, beautiful, peaceful sleep sigh

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